Just a Bit Confusing

By: Alessandra Hazard

Chapter 26

Ryan opened his eyes slowly and stared at the platinum blond head on his shoulder. Jamie’s warm body was plastered all along his, his leg slung over Ryan’s thigh. He was still asleep. Long pale eyelashes fluttered but didn’t open. Jamie smiled in his sleep a little, his arm tightening around Ryan’s middle.

They were naked. Of course they were naked: they’d had sex. And this time he couldn’t claim being tipsy or confused. This time he hadn’t been a passive participant. Far from it.

Ryan clenched his jaw. He had promised himself that he wasn’t traveling to Russia to screw with Jamie’s head again. There shouldn’t have been any screwing involved, full stop.

Yet here he was, naked, with his equally naked best friend all over him after buggering said best friend. His best friend who was in love with him. His best friend whose heart he couldn’t break. This couldn’t happen again—as long as he wasn’t sure what the hell he wanted.

Jamie made a soft cooing noise, sighed and shifted in his sleep.

His chest tight with affection, Ryan couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and nuzzling Jamie’s hair. Christ, he missed him: the way he felt, the way he smelled, all warm, and perfect, and  Jamie. He kissed Jamie’s forehead, wondering how he could feel such naked adoration now, when a few hours ago he fucked Jamie rougher than he’d fucked anyone in his life. These conflicting wants and thoughts had been driving him crazy for weeks. For months. He could neither merge them nor get rid of either of them.

He wondered what would have happened if Luke hadn’t gone missing. He would like to say he would have stayed away from Jamie, but deep down, he knew better. With the way things had been going, he would have lasted a few more weeks before hunting Jamie down and re-gluing them back together, common sense be damned.

“If you frown any harder, your eyebrows will grow together in the middle.”

Ryan looked at Jamie and found his eyes closed. “You awake?”

Jamie yawned and burrowed deeper into his side. “No.”

Chuckling, Ryan ran his fingers through Jamie’s hair. “Jamie.”

“No.” Jamie’s bare foot slid down Ryan’s leg.

Ryan tensed, his mushy emotions fading into the background as the other feeling took over. The shift was so fast it left him a little disoriented. Now, instead of getting warm and fuzzy feelings from cuddling his best friend, he felt hot all over, acutely aware of all that smooth, pale skin. He found his hand moving up Jamie’s leg, stroking his thigh lightly before settling on the perfectly rounded buttock. Unlike him, Jamie was smooth everywhere, his skin silky-soft.

“Someone’s handsy,” Jamie murmured, watching him from under his eyelashes.

“Do you shave down here, or something?” Ryan said, squeezing Jamie’s buttock and trying to distract himself from the urge to throw these long, toned legs over his shoulders and get back inside Jamie.

Jamie chuckled, running his fingers through the sparse black hair on Ryan’s stomach. “Nope.

Don’t have any.” Jamie’s hand slid lower and wrapped around Ryan’s erection with casual familiarity.

But there was nothing casual about the way Jamie looked at it. Jamie wet his lips with his tongue. “I think I missed sucking your dick more than I missed you.”

“I think I’m offended,” Ryan said, trying to keep his voice light. He cleared his throat. “Mate, we need to talk.” Mate. The word felt strange on his tongue. Wrong. As if it no longer fit. It didn’t, Ryan realized as he almost physically felt something click inside him. “Jamie?” he said, his heart speeding up.

Jamie blinked and looked up.

Ryan’s breath caught in his throat. God, he was…Jamie’s eyes seemed almost green in the late morning light, shining above cheeks flushed from sleep, his pink bow lips parted, and Ryan felt…

Fuck, he felt like  consuming him. He wanted to have him, needed to put himself on him, in him, crawl his way inside, brand him, love him, use him, take care of him, own him, cram all of him into Jamie

Jamie made a startled sound when Ryan rolled on top of him. “Jamie,” he said hoarsely, burying his face in Jamie’s neck and mouthing it with greedy sucking sounds. “Jamie. God, I want you.” His hands were already parting Jamie’s thighs and stroking them impatiently. He wanted—needed—to put himself inside him, the urgency of that need threatening to swallow him up.

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