Double Blind

By: Vanessa Waltz

Her eyes shine when I cup her cheek with my hand.

“I’m sorry.”

The guilt weighs down her voice, but she has no idea how guilty I feel from the constant lies spilling from my mouth, even though I think she suspects. My fiancée isn’t an idiot. She reads the news, but no longer asks me questions.

“I have to pay him a visit. Will you come with me?”

From the look blazing in her eyes, I know that she doesn’t want to, but it’s disrespectful not to show up. She doesn’t know that. I’ve been trying to ease her into my life slowly. Certain things will be expected from her as my wife. It looks bad for me, not having her there. Makes them think I can’t control my woman. Makes me look weak.

“No, I don’t think so,” she says with her jaw clenched.

“Adriana, this is not up for discussion.”

“Fuck him,” she spits out.

I take her jaw in my fingers, applying a bit of pressure. “You’re fucking coming,” I say in a low voice.

Her eyes flash towards me. Defiance.

“Do I need to spank you again? You’re still wearing the collar.”

I flick one of the metal rings attached to her collar as her face colors with a deep blush.

“If you really want me to, I’ll go,” she says finally.

“I do.”

Her eyes look troubled as my fingers undo the leather clasp around her neck, the supple leather unwinding from her easily.

We were nearly killed only a few weeks ago. The Rizzo family tried to take us all out and they nearly succeeded. Adriana’s back tenses and I know she’s thinking about the same thing. She curls into the crook of my arm and traces my chest.

“How do you do it? How are you so strong?”

I smile to myself.

The shooting was hard on me. I never expected that I would be shot at with my friends and family surrounding me at my own engagement party. I would be lying if I told her it didn’t faze me. It shook me.

I kiss the top of her head and run my fingers down her sexy back. “I don’t know. You get used to it.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t get used to it.”

“You don’t have to. That’s why you’re mine.” I distract her by pulling her body over mine. Goddamn, I’m a lucky son of a bitch. “I protect you and provide for you, and all you have to do is spread your gorgeous legs—”

She punches my shoulder and I laugh at her annoyed face. “I’m not your whore.”

“Of course not, baby. You know I love you, right?”

Adriana still pouts and I take her chin gently.



Then she smiles, and it’s amazing how good it makes me feel.

* * *


I fucking hate them.

They always make me nervous, no matter how many fucking times I visit them. It’s the one place where I’m not in control. No amount of bullying, bribing, or threats can make these fucking doctors do exactly what I want them to do. It’s up to their skills and luck.

It pisses me off.

That sharp, chemical smell burns my nostrils as I walk down the gleaming hallways, a twisted shadow of my reflection staring up at me. Adriana clings tightly to my hand as we walk into the waiting room, a bright room that burns my eyeballs. Paulie, recently promoted to captain, stands up from the lime green chair when he sees me approach. Sal, Nicky, and Tommy stand in a small circle.

Good, everyone’s here.

Paulie wraps his arms around me and pounds my back.

“How is the boss?”

He pushes his glasses up his long nose and shrugs. “He’s all fucked up on meds, but the doctors say he should make a full recovery.”

The pressure in my chest simmers down somewhat. “Thank God.”

Beside me, Adriana gives Paulie a thin-lipped smile as she pretends to be happy for Jack. She doesn’t see Paulie’s frown and I want to bend her over my knee and spank her in front of them. Could she be any more transparent about her dislike for Jack?

Filing that away for later, I turn towards the short, irritable man who gives my fiancée a wide smile.

Careful, asshole. She’s mine.

“Nick, how you doin’?”

He shrugs. He’s still sore over being passed over for the capo promotion. If he wasn’t such a reckless, violent fuck, I would have recommended him.

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