Her Bosses Baby
By: Kimmy LoveI stand abruptly. I can’t let him go on. Just the tender way he talks about his loneliness is making me weak. I know what it is to be lonely and I can’t allow myself to be swept away like this. It would be too easy to...
“Adam, I should go.”
He stands quickly and is across the room before I can get to the door. I turn to face him, my back close to the door. I could do with its support. I feel lightheaded with Adam so close. The smell of his body is fragrant and inviting. So different from the beer and stale cigarettes Drew always greets me with. Why can’t I have better?
“I didn’t mean to frighten you off, and I don’t want to sound like one of those sad bastards who cheats on their wives and stay with them anyway.” He steps away. “Look, Macey, I waited a long time to tell you how I feel. I don’t take it lightly. I know it’s over for Sherry and me, and if you want to wait until she and I are officially split up then so be it. But I just need to know... am I right? Is there something here?” He moves his hand between his chest and mine.
Instinct makes me take his hand. He smiles. I’ve given him the acceptance he needs.
“But Adam, it’s complicated for me. You and Sherry might be unhappy, but my marriage to Drew, well that’s something else.”
Adam moves closer now, he’s gained confidence by my touch. I put my hands at my sides.
“Are you telling me that you don’t want this? That you want to stay with your husband?” he says.
“Drew. His name is Drew. I’ve loved him all my life. I’m his wife. I have to be there through the good times and the bad times.”
“Bad times? I knew it.” He paces away. “I knew you weren’t happy with him. Why else would I be getting this vibe off you?”
“Wait, Adam. Don’t get me wrong. I’m confused, okay? One minute things are great with me and Drew and at others... It’s just at other times he gets...”
“Gets what?”
“He gets really down and depressed.” I can’t tell him the whole truth.
“So you have to pick up the pieces? Is that it? That isn’t love, Macey.”
“Don’t tell me what love is. Look, I should go. We shouldn’t be... I shouldn’t be here like this. We have to stop all these games. People will talk.”
“Let them.”
“It’s easy for you to say. You’re not on my level; you’re an executive. If something happens here, we both know who’ll carry the blame.”
“We can be discreet.”
For one insane moment, those words ring true. What if I did allow Adam into my life? What if our relationship developed past the furtive looks, the brushing of skin as we pass each other, the smiles that run deeper than just friendly office banter? But I shake myself back to reality. I am married. I should go home.
Adam seems to be incredibly closer than a few seconds ago. His breath his fast and I can feel the heat of his exhale on my skin. I stare at his lips, soft, pink, and perfectly shaped. They part slowly and draw closer. I feel his fingertips tilting my chin upwards. I feel my body bend into the curve of his and we are touching, really touching, and his body lights mine up. His tongue is in my mouth, one arm is around my waist and I’m up on my toes, feeling liquid between my legs.
I hear a sigh. It’s coming from me but it sounds like a lovesick damsel in a movie. This isn’t real, it can’t be. But my arms are around his neck and I can feel the rise of his hardening penis.
I pull away.
“Adam, I really have to go.”
I’m racing towards the stairwell now and take the stairs two at a time. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking. I was letting a fantasy I’ve had for a long time take over. It won’t happen again.
In my office, I fumble around and clear up my desk. I sit waiting for the computer to shut down and stare at the door, half expecting Adam to walk in. I’m so glad Amy has left for home. Everyone has. I believe it’s just Adam and me here. If something more than a kiss had taken place, no one would have to have known. It could have been our secret.
But I had lived a life of secrets. The first was falling for the white boy, Drew, and then having to leave our racist, small town so we could be together. We married in secret so neither of our families could come and put a stop to it. The biggest secret of all was how mentally abusive Drew had been these past few years, his unemployment, the drinking, the drugs. And now there was this. I wanted Adam. I wanted him badly, but I had to resist.
