I Told You, You're Mine
By: Heather C. Adams
(The Possessive Billionaires Book 4)
Chapter 1
Avery
With a heavy heart my mind goes to Blade and my chest thumps so hard it feels like it’s going to come out of my chest.
Did I do the right thing?
No. Stop it. You know you did.
I needed space. All of it was amazing and wild and thrilling, but also just…so…much, so fast! I had been waiting for years to be able to crawl into Blade’s arms, so why did it seem so hard to manage now that it actually happened? Wasn’t love supposed to be enough to make it work?
What happened?
Tears sting my eyes as I lay balled up on my couch. I have been laying and rolling on it since I got here a little after lunch. My luggage still stands in front of my door and my lights are still turned down. My tiny apartment is dark and I have no plans of letting it do anything other than match my mood.
Through the hours of silence, the only person blowing up my phone is Bonnie. Blade hasn’t called like I thought he would. I hurt him. I know I did. I’m hurting too.
My chest thumps harder and I’m reminded of the knockout, drop-dead kind of love I feel for that man. Did we really think we’d be able to fix eight years in two weeks of amazing sex and whirlwind trips? This is what I get for being completely irrational for once in my life. We should have planned. We should have talked. We should have slowed down.
Blade’s giving me space this time and while all I want to do is pick up the phone and hear his voice…I know I need time to think. Sort it all out.
I smack my forehead in frustration. Why am I doing this to myself? Why can’t I just accept that things will be hard and move on? Why is every little hard thing scaring me away? A punch in my gut reminds me…
Deep down I don’t want to go slow. I want to be by my man and have a peaceful loving relationship, but that’s not our life. Blade and I being together will never be easy or peaceful.
The end of the trip really snapped me back into reality. I had lost touch with it during those two wonderful weeks with Blade. But once the guys came in, being transported back to our high school days was no easy task; and having Liza down my throat just put me over the edge. She tapped into my worse fear. The fear that we were ruining everything Blade’s dad ever built…everything that was our family…a family I so dearly wanted back. Dad didn’t deserve that. Blade didn’t deserve that.
You told him it wasn’t goodbye though Avery.
The sneaky thought trails through my mind again.
So why does it feel like goodbye?
The wrestling in my head is relentless as I try to sort through the massive amount of thoughts.
Blade said he was going to handle Liza, but I had witnessed him “handling” her more than once since the funeral, and nothing seemed to be working. I seriously doubted it was going to work this time. I didn’t want to be around when shit hit the fan and she outed us.
So, you let him go through that alone?
The voices in my head aren’t letting up and the sorrow is somehow slowly turning into aggravation.
You know what…now that I think about it, I’m actually a little mad at myself for listening to Blade. It was foolish. I let myself listen to the crazed ideas that we’d be able to make this work. I lost control. I let myself get swept up in the idea that love was enough.
My phone begins to vibrate, lighting up the wood of the coffee table in front of me, and saving me from the destructive thoughts. I flip it over. It’s a text from Bonnie.
Alright, I knew this morning that something was up and now you won’t answer your phone. Adam and I are coming over. Don’t even try to talk me out of it.
***
“See,” her finger flies up in the air as she walks in like she owns the place, “Girl, I knew something was up with you!” Bonnie flips on my living room light as she passes with Adam in tow.
Her coconut smell lingers as she takes over my home with her light pink dress flowing in the wind of her gate, “and look at you…sitting here in the dark!” She proceeds to flip the blinds open in my living room and kitchen as I jerk a hand to my eyes squinting and groaning.
“Hello to you too,” I whine, rolling my eyes, and plopping back in my spot on the couch.
