Owning Her Innocence

By: Alexa Riley

“Forget it, Williammm!” I said, drawing out his name in hopes of pushing him a little. “I don’t want to play checkers with you anyway.”

I’ll never forget him grabbing me by the arms and pulling me close, flush against his broad chest, dipping his head right down next to my ear, his stubble brushing against my soft skin.

“That’s good, little Haley. It’s best you don’t play with me at all.” His nose pressed to my neck and it felt like he was breathing me in. Then he was gone. That was the last time William touched me… A year without his touch. Until this very moment.

“Good evening, William.” I can’t stop the sarcastic way I say his name now. It’s like a little paper cut each time I say it, and I want him to know this. Or maybe I just want a reaction from him. Something. Anything to get a little bit of his attention. I see the tic in his jaw and I can’t help but smirk at my little victory.

“So glad you could pull yourself away from whatever it is you’re up to these days to come to my little graduation party. God knows you don’t come around to see us anymore.” Cheese and crackers! That came out way whinier than I intended it to. I’ve never actually seen William with another woman, but I can’t help the thought that that’s what’s been keeping him away from us… From me. It slices through my heart.

“We all have lives, Haley. Like your father keeps saying, you’re a big girl now and it’s time you started acting like it.”

My shoulders drop at his words. There it is again, I’m a big girl now.

Softly I whisper, “Maybe I don’t want to be a big girl.”

He mumbles something I don’t quite catch, and the temperature in the room seems to rise.

“Fuck, Haley, I can’t deal with this right now. Get your little ass wherever you were going.”

I feel the lump rise in my throat; I can’t let him see how he’s affected me.

“Then why don’t you move your stupid face away from the door!” I scream at him.

Hopefully the anger will keep the tears at bay for a few moments longer until I can make my escape.

“Now, now, Haley, don’t you go thinking you’re too old to be bent over and have your panties pulled down for me to spank that sweet little ass of yours.”

I can’t control the gasp that leaves my lips. How dare he!

That helped push those tears back and I feel my anger grow. He ignores me the past year then thinks he can just come in here and boss me around? I don’t think so, Daddy William. I straighten my back, trying to make myself somewhat taller but he’s got a whole foot on me, so I’m not sure it’s working

“I’d like to see you try…Daddy William.” No sooner have the words left my lips than he grabs me by the waist, turns me around and pushes me against the door he was leaning on moments before.

I snap my face up to look at him through the veil of my lashes; this is a look I’ve never seen before. His eyes seem to change in the light to the deepest green I’ve ever seen. He slides one of his legs between mine, bracing his left hand next to my face and his right onto my hip, making it so I have no escape. I’m totally trapped. He wouldn’t hurt me, would he? The hand he has on my hip tightens, causing a sharp pain that seems to go right to my core. Oh god, the tingling between my legs is back in a way that I’ve never felt before. I swear I can feel my pulse down there, and I feel liquid leak from my girly parts. I’ve never had a boy—no, a man—on me like this before.

The only experience I have is the one time my best friend Molly talked me into going to her brother’s basketball game. Molly is boy crazy, and being as we went to a private all-girls’ Catholic school we never got to be around boys. After the game, her brother Tim caught me by the bleachers and tried sticking his slimy tongue down my throat, which was completely gross. When I came home and told my father about it he hit the roof and started making me get birth control shots from the doctor. I tried to explain, but he was too freaked out to listen. Luckily I didn’t tell him it was Molly’s brother, or he probably wouldn’t have let me hang out at her house anymore.

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